Are You Sure

Breath of wind. Self possessed of rambling intentions. You rascal. You always send me down hot summer streets restless as the devil.

When I was a child we used to play all the childhood games. Games that it seems have become extinct. It almost seems as if some free cartwheeling child never invented them at all. I am sure you remember them, Pom-pom pull away, statue, tag and my favorite hide-and -go seek.

These were summer games when we could stay out past dark, go to bed with dirt on our face and dust on our feet. One particular night of innocence all the kids in my neighborhood were out playing hide and go seek. Fire flies lit up the night with an erie electricity. The humidity was off the Richter scale and it was as if you could cut the heat with a knife. That night kids raced through the neighborhood with no worries or responsibilities. From house to house and hedge to hedge we ran weaving in then out again.

But this night would be the night that innocence and reality met. As I crouched down in the neighbors yard I heard something. "WHIZZ." What was that I thought as something went flying past my left ear. "WHIZZ." there it was again. Was my older brother adding a new twist to the old rules? Or in typical Jimmy McGill fashion was he just being a bully?

When I saw my older brother I asked him why he was pegging apples at my head.When he looked at me with the deer in the head lights look I knew he had no clue. Then it must be my sister Sharon who always had a bunch of mischief in her. She also denied it and said the same thing happened to her.

We compared our stories and went and found the exact spot. They were all in the same vicinity. As I glanced at my older brothers they were making a beeline home for their BB guns .Just in case they got to shoot at something more than birds on a wire they were ready.

Then, as twenty kids raced to the neighbors house as fast as their fat little legs could carry them,
we saw the culprit. Crouched down in the bush's not ten feet from where I stood was a burglar. We all froze as if we were guilty. BOOM! Off he went leaping fences without even using his hands. We knew we were mismatched. Youth against strength. Just so they could brag about it the next day my brothers gave chase.

After the police left I was still afraid. Would he come back to get me for ratting him out? Did anybody say my name loud enough for him to hear?

The next day I tried to get back to the routine of my life. At eight years old it was my job to walk my younger brother to the bus stop. I ran upstairs to tell my mom I was leaving but as usual she was sleeping. It was not uncommon for her to get home after 2:00 A.M as she worked nights.

When I arrived back home there seemed to be a problem with the door. I shook it but it wouldn't open. I kicked it but that didn't help. Fear and panic invaded my mind as I became convinced that the thief was back and he was in my house. Worse yet, at the tip of hysteria I was convinced that the thief had my mom.

I ran to the neighbors house as I tripped through my tears. I tried to explain to her between my sobs that the thief had my mom. We called the house but she did not pick up. " Honey, are you sure he is in there?" Oh yes" I shouted at the height of uncontrollable weeping. With a soothing voice I heard her say " We better go get Ritchie."

Richie was as big as Paul Bunyan and as strong as Babe the Blue Ox. As we raced to his home
I was sure that he could bust the door down. And that is exactly what I told him to do. Once again I heard the words, "Are you sure he is in there? Are you sure I should bust down the door?" Yes Ritchie," I wailed as he laid his shoulder into the door.

As splinters flew in every direction I said a silent prayer. When the door finally crashed open I flew upstairs. My mom, was safe and sound fast asleep oblivious to it all. It was then that I learned I had locked myself out of the house. I learned a hard lesson that things are not always what they seem.

So in the midst of your tough times are you sure? Are you sure God can't use your circumstance as a witness for Christ? Are you sure God isn't using this disappointment to strenghten your faith?

What I have found is that during the worst of my times, my hardest moments ,I needed to come to Him, bend and break. I needed to surrender all of myself, moment by moment, on a daily basis. I found that my spirit was disobedient, stubborn and independent. I discovered without Christ I am ugly, unwilling and strong willed.

When I accept these qualities I am out of control, out of God's will and living outside the boundaries God calls me to be. No wonder that when we try to be in control we end up unhappy, empty and anxious.

Life becomes a choice and I believe we don't stop and think how easily we can let go of His hand. If only we could feel His hand gently, securely wrapped around ours we would not do half of the things we choose to do.

What I am sure of now is I need to be in constant communication with Christ. What I am sure of is I have to work at having prayer and confession time daily to re-establish my relationship with Him. I now am sure that I want to constantly search, constantly reach for His hand and His touch. I need to forever listen for the whisper of the Holy Spirit. I am sure I need to love Him more and reach for less. I am sure I need to know Him intimately, letting His word abundantly saturate my heart.

Walking with Christ through the storms of our life is not a matter of finding God. That happened many years ago. Now, it is a matter of trusting God. Now is the time to display a sense of faith. I must rest in confidence completely convinced of all that God is going to accomplish in the storms of life.

Just when I thought my love for Him was at it's fullest He reveals something more. My trust is increasing as He continues to show Himself and assure me that all is well. At every obstacle I am now sure that I want to obey. Now, my thoughts wrap around Him, and I continually find new ways to place all my worries on His shoulders.

No food, He'll find a way. No lights, don't worry. No answers, He will speak. I am sure.